As long term readers of this will be aware one of my most consistent targets for venom down the years has been Silvio Berlusconi. As such it is with some joy that I greet the recent news that we are to be rid of the little shit
. Again. Obviously we have been here before so I welcome his departure with some caution as the other Teflon Don has a tendency to come back from anything and will no doubt join the cockroaches in the post-nuclear holocaust world. But surely, finally this has to be the end of the road for Il Cavaliere
as a politician at least. Mind you, given what he has come back from in the past I am not fully convinced. Let's remind ourselves of a selection of his previous crimes, none of which have inhibited his place as Italy's political godfather since the 90s.
• Berlusconi was a member of the Masonic lodge Propaganda Due, a shadowy extreme right group involved in the 1980 bombing of Bologna in which eighty people were killed and which was active with extremist movements and regimes in Latin America, including with the Dirty War in Argentina. He got off in 1990 after an amnesty was declared for members of this mass murder organisation.
• He has consistently been shown to have been linked to the Mafia, dating back to his early years in business, but has always dodged prosecution through shady means. When he was younger and looked like a human being rather than a capuchin monkey wearing an orange ski mask he proudly advertised the fact that he packed heat
• Down the years he has bribed more judges than I've had hot dinners and yet has always weaselled out of prosecution, usually through the statute of limitations, something that has got him away with more crimes (including a litany of tax evasion and embezzlement) than you've had hot dinners. To think that Berlusconi sought to present himself as a clean new broom after the mess of Mani pulite
• He formed governments with radical right parties such as the Lega Nord
and the "post fascist" Alleanza Nazionale
and then later admitted the Alternativa Sociale
into his rag-bag coalition. Under the leadership of former nude model Alessandra Mussolini this alliance of unashamedly fascist parties included the Forza Nuova
of Roberto Fiore, a veteran of the neo-fascist terrorist networks of the 1970s. We all know I detest David Cameron but could you really see him forming a coalition with the BNP and English Democrats and then later adding a bloc consisting of the National Front, British Peoples Party and the International Third Position?
• He sullied the good name of our own Tessa Jowell by forcing her against her will/entirely without her knowledge/it never happened (delete according to which excuse she is currently using) to become involved in bribery.
• Bunga bunga. Not only did the whole grubby affair sum up the crassness of this poor excuse for a human being but it also demonstrated how much he blew with the wind. He supposedly learned it from his great mate Colonel Qaddafi but as soon as the tide turned against him Berlusconi rushed to get sticking the knife in. With friends like that etc.
• Lest we forget he still faces trial for bonking an underage girl although I have no doubt that he will worm his way out of that.
• He claims to be a serious politician and yet he gets plastic surgery that makes him look like a burns victim
, he flaunts his sexual proclivities in public despite having Veronica Lario at home (and despite consistently trying to present himself as the bastion of the Catholic vote), he brands German politicians Nazis
despite sitting in government with self-declared fascists and praising Benito Mussolini as benign, he consistently makes racist jokes about Black people being “tanned” (not least at Barack Obama), he tries to make rape into something to laugh about
, he makes crass jokes at the expense of his own people left homeless by an earthquake
and tells a litany of crap and offensive jokes directed against (in no particular order) gays, Jews, women, the Spanish, Muslims, the Chinese and the Finns. And he releases albums. Albums, for God’s sake!
• And above all the regular public appearances made by his revolting, shrivelled penis mean that he is the biggest criminal to ever walk the face of the earth. Put it away you horrible old man!
There is an interview that they frequently show in which Tony Blair is grilled by Jeremy Paxman over his relationship with Richard Desmond. At one point (around nine minutes in)
Blair visibly squirms as Paxman reads out a list of Desmond's rather more salacious publications. Could you imagine the same interview taking place with Silvio Berlusconi instead of Tony Blair? He would probably get to his feet and start thrusting his emboldened member into the camera. Such is the measure of the man who has been the absolute disgrace of Italy for two decades and has done more to damage the good name of the country that gifted the world the Renaissance since Mussolini. I hope upon hope that this is the last the world sees of the tight-faced old bastard but I retain the fear that his clammy hands will be back on the steering wheel before too long, inaugurating another corruption-riddled government of porn stars in which he uses public money to fun his own taste for whores. Good riddance but please don't come back.