keresaspa: (Percy Sugden)
If Greece has taught us anything in the post-Classical world it's that it is actually possible to enter the Eurovision Song Contest with a genuinely good song. OK you might not actually win, or even come close for that matter but.... No, hold on, that wasn't it. Let's start over.

If Greece has taught us anything in the post-Classical world it's that if you want genuine change to take place liberal democracy is not the way to do. Much was made of the home of democracy having an eruption of people power by electing Syriza but I was less enthusiastic than many of my fellow travellers and now, alas, I've been vindicated as Tsipras has proven to be yet another politician and as such his word isn't worth a brewer's fart.

As a consequence I'm not placing too much stock on the surprise lead being held by Jeremy Corbyn in the bunfight to take over t'the Labour Party. As much as I allowed myself flights of fancy when Jez for Prez seemed like a pipe dream I don't imagine there would be too much difference under a Corbyn premiership as he would still be governed by the same capitalist base and superstructure as all of his predecessors and as such would be limited to more tinkering. OK, some of the railways might be renationalised and the worst excesses of Iain Duncan Smith might be reversed but the same old banks/the City/Siralan/them-durned-immigents shit would continue as ever and as such the much required root and branch change would be rendered impossible. True change comes only from revolution, not from elections, or else the wholesale slaughter of black youths by racist cops wouldn't still be going on under Barack Obama

In saying all that, if on the very off chance that some Labour Party member is passing, doesn't know who to vote for and feels that my opinion will sway it for them (it could happen) then I would still endorse his leadership. They can say all they want that only Blairism will win an election but what really would be the point of somebody like Liz Kendall being Prime Minister instead of George Osborne/Boris Johnson? She would just do the same thing as the Tories anyway given all her vile attacks on the poor, whilst Cooper and Burnham are a pair of faceless, oily bastards who blow with the wind and would be equally pointless and easy pickings for Johnson (though possibly not Osborne). The measure of Andy Burnham is that, in a shameless attempt to seize the left-wing vote, he claimed to be against Tory attacks on the victims of austerity and yet refused to vote against their attacks on the welfare state. Hypocrite and liar.

Corbyn inevitably will struggle to win any election if he does become leader as he would have to overcome everybody from the Torygraph to Woman's Own pushing the radical right neocon agenda, not to mention his own party colleagues and has-beens like Gordon "financial meltdown" Brown and Tony "war criminal" Blair, kicking him at every turn. Hell, if they put half as much energy into attacking the Tories as they did their own they might actually have got somewhere. But he is the only candidate to offer a genuine alternative and to treat party politics as a genuine struggle between political ideologies rather than an extension of the public relations industry.

So all the best to Jezza but excuse me if I don't leap for joy whatever the result. The home of true democracy has already shown us that as an organ of radical change its representative offspring is a dead duck and, if the planets somehow align to give PM Corbyn, I don't think that will change very much. But if nothing else it would be a change to have an actual human being as Prime Minister rather than yet another plastic stooge of Rupert Murdoch. Chance would be a fine thing.
keresaspa: (Brigitte Bardot)
All I seem to have been doing on this thing recently is leeching ideas off [livejournal.com profile] caddyman in order to fill up entries. Well, today is to be another instalment in that rip-off sequence as the man himself has presented another of his memes and I'm jumping on the bandwagon. The basic plot of this one is to provide eight facts about yourself. Apologies in advance for the boring nature of these but I'm a boring chap I'm afraid.

1) I had only just started walking when I toddled my way through a glass door in the house in which I was born. Whilst I cheated death that day it had been by a whisker as had the cuts gone an inch in either direction I would have severed major blood vessels and most likely carked it. The scars left behind on my forehead were very prominent until fairly recently but now the deep worry lines that have sprung up on my forehead have largely merged with them, rendering them almost invisible.

2) Around the age of five I took part in, and won, a foot race against other children from my school. I was rewarded with a bag of sweets for my trouble. Hardly a big deal in itself, but it must be balanced by the "bulky" frame I have sported ever since and the complete aversion to running that has dominated my thinking. I reckon Douglas Bader with have a chance in a foot race against me these days.

3) I was about 12 when I first decided to become politically aware but I didn’t fully embrace communism until the age of around 19. As a youngster I was a firmly moderate social democrat whose political allegiances belonged to the Labour Party and the SDLP. I began to move to the left around the time Blair took over Labour (the two occurrences were not connected however) when I was about 14 and from then until about 17 I looked more to the likes of the SWP and the IRSP, whilst maintaining a strong admiration for the authoritarian Left in the developing world. By the age of 17 I was more open to communism and finally declared for it around 19, following a very very brief flirtation with anarchism.

4) At GCSE I was put forward for the Additional Mathematics exams but, after getting a B in my one year normal maths, I completely lost the thread of what was going on and effectively gave up. As a result in both papers for the subject, which were two hours long, I was finished after about fifteen minutes and had an hour and three quarters to just sit there bored (my school wouldn’t permit you to leave when you were done). The fact that I got an E in the subject (a fail in my day, not so sure now) rather than the U I deserved probably pinpoints the exact moment when they started marking GCSEs too easily.

5) Although I now find it impossible to go a Saturday without attending a football match I didn’t actually go to my first live match until the age of 16 (Cliftonville v Standard Liege in the Intertoto Cup) and I was absent entirely between 1998 and 2011.

6) I once brought a half bottle of whiskey with me along with my standard haul of several bottles of ale and a bottle of Buckfast to a goth carry-out disco. The resulting levels of drunkenness that ensued on my part became legendary in the local scene for several years to come, although for my part I have little memory of it.

7) Having said that, although my hell-raising reputation was well-known once upon a time I did not taste a drop of alcohol until the legal age of 18, which was the same time I first smoked a cigarette. Incidentally I had smoked at most ten cigarettes before I made cigars a regular part of my routine.

8) Despite being a heterosexual adult male with no children, and despite not liking cats, I possess several toys and pieces of ephemera of Hello Kitty and I feel absolutely no shame in admitting that fact.
keresaspa: (Piggy Banks)
As long term readers of this will be aware one of my most consistent targets for venom down the years has been Silvio Berlusconi. As such it is with some joy that I greet the recent news that we are to be rid of the little shit. Again. Obviously we have been here before so I welcome his departure with some caution as the other Teflon Don has a tendency to come back from anything and will no doubt join the cockroaches in the post-nuclear holocaust world. But surely, finally this has to be the end of the road for Il Cavaliere as a politician at least. Mind you, given what he has come back from in the past I am not fully convinced. Let's remind ourselves of a selection of his previous crimes, none of which have inhibited his place as Italy's political godfather since the 90s.

• Berlusconi was a member of the Masonic lodge Propaganda Due, a shadowy extreme right group involved in the 1980 bombing of Bologna in which eighty people were killed and which was active with extremist movements and regimes in Latin America, including with the Dirty War in Argentina. He got off in 1990 after an amnesty was declared for members of this mass murder organisation.
• He has consistently been shown to have been linked to the Mafia, dating back to his early years in business, but has always dodged prosecution through shady means. When he was younger and looked like a human being rather than a capuchin monkey wearing an orange ski mask he proudly advertised the fact that he packed heat.
• Down the years he has bribed more judges than I've had hot dinners and yet has always weaselled out of prosecution, usually through the statute of limitations, something that has got him away with more crimes (including a litany of tax evasion and embezzlement) than you've had hot dinners. To think that Berlusconi sought to present himself as a clean new broom after the mess of Mani pulite!
• He formed governments with radical right parties such as the Lega Nord and the "post fascist" Alleanza Nazionale and then later admitted the Alternativa Sociale into his rag-bag coalition. Under the leadership of former nude model Alessandra Mussolini this alliance of unashamedly fascist parties included the Forza Nuova of Roberto Fiore, a veteran of the neo-fascist terrorist networks of the 1970s. We all know I detest David Cameron but could you really see him forming a coalition with the BNP and English Democrats and then later adding a bloc consisting of the National Front, British Peoples Party and the International Third Position?
• He sullied the good name of our own Tessa Jowell by forcing her against her will/entirely without her knowledge/it never happened (delete according to which excuse she is currently using) to become involved in bribery.
• Bunga bunga. Not only did the whole grubby affair sum up the crassness of this poor excuse for a human being but it also demonstrated how much he blew with the wind. He supposedly learned it from his great mate Colonel Qaddafi but as soon as the tide turned against him Berlusconi rushed to get sticking the knife in. With friends like that etc.
• Lest we forget he still faces trial for bonking an underage girl although I have no doubt that he will worm his way out of that.
• He claims to be a serious politician and yet he gets plastic surgery that makes him look like a burns victim, he flaunts his sexual proclivities in public despite having Veronica Lario at home (and despite consistently trying to present himself as the bastion of the Catholic vote), he brands German politicians Nazis despite sitting in government with self-declared fascists and praising Benito Mussolini as benign, he consistently makes racist jokes about Black people being “tanned” (not least at Barack Obama), he tries to make rape into something to laugh about, he makes crass jokes at the expense of his own people left homeless by an earthquake and tells a litany of crap and offensive jokes directed against (in no particular order) gays, Jews, women, the Spanish, Muslims, the Chinese and the Finns. And he releases albums. Albums, for God’s sake!
• And above all the regular public appearances made by his revolting, shrivelled penis mean that he is the biggest criminal to ever walk the face of the earth. Put it away you horrible old man!

There is an interview that they frequently show in which Tony Blair is grilled by Jeremy Paxman over his relationship with Richard Desmond. At one point (around nine minutes in) Blair visibly squirms as Paxman reads out a list of Desmond's rather more salacious publications. Could you imagine the same interview taking place with Silvio Berlusconi instead of Tony Blair? He would probably get to his feet and start thrusting his emboldened member into the camera. Such is the measure of the man who has been the absolute disgrace of Italy for two decades and has done more to damage the good name of the country that gifted the world the Renaissance since Mussolini. I hope upon hope that this is the last the world sees of the tight-faced old bastard but I retain the fear that his clammy hands will be back on the steering wheel before too long, inaugurating another corruption-riddled government of porn stars in which he uses public money to fun his own taste for whores. Good riddance but please don't come back.
keresaspa: (Starry Plough)
So it seems some Labour Party no-mark going by the name of Ian Davidson has sought to get his fifteen minutes of fame by denouncing the Scottish National Party as neo-fascists. Now I'm on record as supporting independence for Scotland but I am also on record as not necessarily being a fan of Alex Salmond and his decidedly non-radical mob. However this has to be one of the sleaziest outbursts I have ever heard as, not only is the term neo-fascist of debatable value, but Davidson's proclamation has zero basis in fact.

I have never seen the SNP referencing Maurice Bardèche or Oswald Mosely in seeking to venerate the corporatism of the Republic of Salo and set up an elite-led pan-European all-white superpower. I'm yet to encounter the references to the mysticism of Julius Evola and glorification of the European spirit of the Waffen-SS in SNP rhetoric. Certainly the occasions where the SNP have sought to develop an economic third way utilising the thoughts of the Strasser brothers or the National Bolshevik tendency are lost on me, and indeed Tony Blair is the only one I can recall ever seeking economic third ways (although admittedly Blair was misusing the term as his "third way" would more accurately have been term "way one and a quarter" as it was just capitalism with the merest hint of social democracy). Certainly the widely accepted notion of Roger Griffin that fascism should be seen as palingenetic ultranationalism bears little resemblance to the SNP vision of an independent, pluralist, democratic Scotland that would have little difference to the current model other than being fully governed from Edinburgh rather than partially and dependent on the say-so of London. Mind you I rather doubt that the good Mr. Davidson has even heard of the notion of palingenetic ultranationalism, much less recognises it as a basis of fascism. Perhaps Mr. Davidson is also unaware that only one typology of a related concept, in this case Cas Mudde's Populist Radical Right (which the author makes clear is distinct from fascism), tests the Scottish National Party against its inclusion criteria. Mudde argues that not only do the SNP not fit his base criterion of nativism they should not even be considered nationalist as they make no reference to any notion of a Scottish ethnic identity and are in effect separatists basing their demands on a historical-geographical unit rather than group identity. Now if Davidson is seriously suggesting that all separatists who are otherwise liberal, conservative, socialist or Marxist should all be considered neo-fascist then I suggest he needs to go back and study the fundamentals of political ideology. There again perhaps I am asking too much to expect a politician to have any grasp of politics.

Of course like most politicians using the term Davidson has no concept whatsoever of what fascism actually means and is simply using it as a stick to beat opponents with. He's a hard-line unionist so therefore he doesn't like the idea of an independent Scotland and anything he doesn't like must be fascism. But this has to be one of the most ridiculous statements I have ever heard and this time-serving moron needs to be disciplined quick sharp. Ed Milliband took a right hammering in Scotland at the last election and made precious little inroads into the support for a malevolent Conservative Party elsewhere. If he thinks the way to make his party electable is to attack the unemployed during the worst recession since the bottom fell out of the pyramid-building industry and to allow faceless apparatchiks to trot out the f-word then maybe it was time his leadership was reconsidered. Neo-fascist my eye!
keresaspa: (Idi Amin)
Imagine a day without once having to hear that bloody meaningless word "progressive" being bandied about by slap-headed sell-out Vince Cable or some other oily LibDumb trying to justify this horrendous government that they're propping up. Wouldn't it just be heaven? I wonder is that progressive as in "progressive illness" or as in "similar to the Danish or Norwegian Progress Party"? To think these rabbles that make up this Frankenstein junta used to have a go at Blair for soundbite politics and they are now doing the exact same thing. Still I suppose it makes sense as all comedians need a catch phrase and there are fewer bigger clowns around than Cable.
keresaspa: (Colonel Blink)
So I says Ed Miliband, David Miliband - they all wind up the same colour in the end. Far too oily for my liking the pair of them and I never much cared which of the two of them won the Labour leadership election (given that the others never had a hope) as they are both the very definition of politicians and therefore, by their nature, a pair of arseholes. In the end we've been lumbered with the yellow faced one rather than the one with the bird droppings on the front of his head and we can look forward to five years of another wispy dark-haired guy in a blue suit and red tie spewing out management speak whilst constantly waving his hands about. Cripes by the next election him, Clagknot and Call Me Dave will probably have merged into one ghastly homogenous lump. Whatever happened to distinctive leaders like Harold Macmillan and Clement Attlee? Tony Blair you have a lot to answer for!

But enough about the ruling classes and their little games as something much more momentous happened yesterday - Albion duffing up the Arse at the rip-off airline stadium for the first time ever. Once again Odemwingie proved the difference and increasingly he looks to be fulfilling my prophecy about being the necessary missing link in the team. There were heart in mouth moments near the end as Jeff Stelling rattled off the Samir Nasri goals and chances but in the end a famous victory was ours and even Gonzalo Jara got a goal! To put things into perspective it was the 3rd December 1983 when Albion last won at the old Highbury library and the scorer that day was the famous (?) Derek Monaghan. One for the scrapbook and no mistake.

Miley virus

Sep. 1st, 2010 07:23 pm
keresaspa: (Chalky Whiteley)
Today we mourn a true great.



Holy God (as Miley would have said) but Glenroe was a pile of steaming pig muck. However if you grew up in either free Ireland or the occupied territory during the 1980s it was impossible to avoid this less sophisticated take on The Archers. Manys a sick day would be wrecked by the older generation suddenly deciding that the travails of a bunch of thick-mick shit-kickers called things like Biddy and Dick were essential viewing. However to be fair to Mick Lally he was a favourite of Brian Friel, was equally comfortable acting in two languages and was a fellow traveller on the left so let us remember him for that rather than ruddy old Glenroe. God that blasted theme tune haunts me to this day! Indeed I would name it Ireland's worst show of my formative years were it not for the even grimmer spectre of Leave It to Mrs. O'Brien still gnawing at my mind.

Certainly however the death of Mick Lally is a bigger event than the publicity whirlwind surrounding Tony Blair's rotten book. It is the mark of the man that after all the death and destruction he still cannot admit he was wrong about Iraq. As for his assessment of Gordon Brown who really cares? They are both a pair of has-beens and their feelings for each other are now immaterial. Given that the paid holidays of the so-called public servants in Westminster have a while to run yet I imagine the whole non-event will continue to rumble but for my part I certainly won't be reading Blair's vanity note. God, I really hoped we had seen the back of that repulsive excuse for a human being once and for all. Bob hope and no hope.
keresaspa: (Terry-Thomas)
Kudos to Clare Short for today's performance. I'm still very much of the opinion that this inquiry is a toothless waste of time that is as likely to punish Blair as Sean Connery is to put in a believable acting performance but I still enjoyed seeing a lady of some principle letting Tony have it over the head with her proverbial umbrella. Were there any justice Blair and that oily little Goldsmith person would be in the dock but the world doesn't work like that. Nevertheless, nice one Clare - today you are a credit to South Armagh.

Elsewhere it happened quite a while ago but I have only just heard about it and therefore, despite the fact that I imagine at most two of you have heard of him, it is my duty to announce the death of Tony Halme. If ever anybody was going to have a sensationalist death it was always going to be the artist formerly known as Ludvig Borga, although my money would have been on the standard arteriosclerotic heart disease inevitably suffered by heavy steroid users. If ever anybody summed up what is wrong with Vince McMahon's size matters policy it was Halme who despite, or perhaps because of, his ridiculous physique was what I believe the kids call a "hot mess" in the ring. Still being a just awful wrestler wasn't enough for Tony who also found time to be a bad shoot fighter, a tolerable boxer, a star of Gladiaattorit, an alcoholic (well, it is Finland), a gun nut and a politician. As a member of the extreme right anti-immigration True Finns the 'Viking' sat in the Finnish Parliament, spouting about how Tarja Halonen was a lesbian before admitting that he was maintaining a political career despite huge gaps in both his short and long term memory. Indeed his career as a celebrity politician on the right was not so much Frank Carson's conversion to UKIP, more like an alternate universe where the BNP does decide to admit non-white members and Norman Smiley becomes the first one. I don't wish to be insensitive but if ever anybody was going to have their name attached to the phrase "took his own life with an illegally held gun" it was always going to be Halme.

Well that's all. Hospital appointment tomorrow so keep me in mind won't you. Bye for now.
keresaspa: (Foster and Allen)
I should probably find some clever way of bringing this up but sod it - that's me that is. Good show!

Anyway, apologies for that shameless piece of self promotion. I shall move on to other matters now. It has come to my attention that J.D. Salinger has died. I know he is supposed to be one of the undisputed greats of the 20th century because he wrote that one book but am I the only one who couldn't see what the fuss was about? I never got round to finishing The Catcher in the Rye but I did read a good lot of it and found it to be a bit of a bore, trying ever so hard to shock. Maybe the fact that I only read the book because I wanted to test the whole Manchurian candidate/turns you into a murderer thing coloured my judgement a bit but to my mind he was a bit Emperor's new clothes. I await the inevitable worthier than thou documentaries to flood onto yawnfest BBC Four for the next six months or so.

Besides it seems a much better writer is going to go after much higher pursuits as Pete Waterman is writing the next Eurovision losing song. Something to look forward to there - a comeback for One True Voice perhaps or maybe a second bite of the cherry for Sonia. With Lloyd Webber last time and now Waterman I suspect that we are only a few years away from a Tony Hatch and Mike Batt extravaganza that will take £80 million to make before finishing 16th. Really, why do they bother?

And on the subject of why bother I have little to say on the whole debacle of Tony Blair's evidence other than "cripes, he's aged" and when Tony says Saddam Hussein was "a monster and I believe he threatened not just the region but the world" has there ever been a more apt description of his master Bush. It's funny how one president who never won an election can be a monster whilst another can be leader of the free world. Still, a pointless exercise and Tony will soon be back to his whirlwind life of making money here, there and everywhere. Which is nice.
keresaspa: (Piggy Banks)
So anyway, this BBC Gaza appeal business. I'm not going to give my own opinion on the matter as you can probably guess where I stand on the whole issue now. However in response to the excuse that it would compromise BBC impartiality I would just like to bring to mind the following incidents:

*In the middle of a war that a number of people opposed and which could be construed as an illegal invasion the BBC remained totally impartial by allowing their then-darling John Simpson to rabbit on about an uninvited invading foreign army "liberating Kabul".

*Impartiality is upheld again when the BBC employs an elected official with a history of racist outbursts to present a show on Christianity and Islam rather than perform the duties of the office of mayor that he busted his (considerable) gut to win.

*It consistently allowed the same Boris Johnson to raise his political profile and construct the image of the loveable oaf on its main satire show.

*On The Hairy Bikers, a show ostensibly about cooking, UK Independence Party leader Nigel Farage was given time to prattle on about his own crazy ideas without any criticism from the two idiot hosts.

*As much as I dislike them, a truly impartial broadcaster could not justify denying access to the BNP.

*Make Poverty History and Live8 were treated as great events worthy of the highest praise despite the inherent contradictions in billionaire musicians jetting all over the world to tell ordinary saps that poverty is their fault.

*The fawning tone adopted over the Royal family by that little Dimbleby twerp is about as far from impartial as it is possible to get.

*BBC Northern Ireland News consistently uses the politically loaded term "Londonderry", even though the council officially made the name Derry years ago, rather than alternating equally between the two terms like their counterparts on UTV.

*An extremely draconian anti-smoking law in Bhutan was presented by the Beeb as a positive thing with no voice given to possible dissent or the fact that it was a ploy to get more money by taxing Indian imports.

*A hostile reception for Tony Blair was covered up on smugfest Newsnight and, let's face it, after Hutton Blair's agenda was constantly pushed by a castrated Beeb.

Let's be honest, BBC impartiality is as much a myth as the Vegetable Lamb of Tartary. If they choose to present an agenda that is pro-Israeli then at least be upfront about it and stop trying to hide wimping out of supporting aid for a humanitarian nightmare by a load of nonsense abut impartiality. This channel has insulted our intelligence enough without resorting to downright lies.
keresaspa: (Communism)
So it seems that He is to rise to His throne today and become the new Messiah. Or at least that's how it would seem from the way everybody is going ga-ga over this inauguration thing. First of all, I am not in any way arguing that the election of a man, who, not so many years ago, would have been barred from certain seats on buses and from using specific restaurants and drinking fountains, is not a positive step. The election of a man of African-American origin is obviously a good thing and an important step for a country which, despite being the soi-disant leader of the free word, has had a shocking record on racism. My big problem is that Barack Obama has effectively been deified before doing anything and that is a dangerous way for people to react to a man who is, after all, just another politician. Judging Obama as President now is ludicrous as he as a lot to doand on a number of important issues has shown little in the way of real change. Only time will tell if he is to be a success or not but the hysteria that has greeted his election needs to be tempered by a large does of reality. It is a step forward for the African-American and opens the way for access to power for all minority groups but for most people any thought of emulating Obama and his millions of dollars is a pipe dream at best. Certainly if all this change doesn't improve the lot of the poor saps in the projects of Detroit, or the impoverished Latin Americans or any of the other down-at-heel masses that the greatest country in the world turns a blind eye to then it will be a missed opportunity.

Overall, I believe Obama is bound to be a disappointment to some as he has been built up far too much. Personally I have a hope at the back of my mind that he might be a mould-breaker in terms of his actions but from what I have heard him say I don't expect too much. The last hype about a political figure like this that I can remember was over Tony Blair and that turned out well!

Still, if noting else lets take comfort in the fact that George W. Bush is finally consigned to the scrapheap of history. As the man himself said "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we"



So, farewell, missing link. We'll never have to disunderestimate you again. Over to you, new Messiah.
keresaspa: (Default)
I've so far avoided talking on here about the situation in Gaza as really what is the point? Were it any other country bar the USA or Russia (and possibly China these days) ignoring the UN there would be anything from sanctions to a peace-keeping force and a mandate but as always Israel remains untouchable and we're forced to endue bland platitudes from Tony Blair (really earning his money, isn't he) and that Rice woman whom we will all be glad to see the back off. Of course in Northern Ireland, where the media is dominated by the unionists, we are being force-fed a diet of hw right Israel is. The Belfast News, a free hatesheet that comes through the letterbox every Thursday filled with nimby bollocks, feels that it is simply an anti-terrorist operation and devotes most of its reporting of the conflict to the opinions of Jeffrey Donaldson and the so irrelevant it hurts Traditional Unionist Voice (so important that they don't even have a proper website in this day and age). I appreciate that unionism is pro-Israeli but there comes a point when you are defending the indefensible.

Anyway, I should not be worrying my head over it as there is nowt I can do. Instead I should be devoting my energies to this new internet doo-dah that I finally have. Until now I had never really appreciated the purpose of YouTube but now that I finally have sound I have discovered that it is a perfect way to waste hours on end. Where else could one find footage of the fascist Ulster Vanguard's Ormeau Park rally that is equally chilling and hilarious alongside delightfully charming Shonen Knife videos? So, if you'll excuse me I must go and waste some more time.
keresaspa: (Geoffrey of Monmouth)
And lo, from the fair fields of Lower Lotharingia came forth an orgulous bachelor hight Lord Peter de Mandelson. And as the lewd piller Sir Gordon of Kirkcaldy did endure divers sharp showers and maims so did the Lord de Mandelson say unto him "by my head, God save you this day from senship and shame. Though my liege doth be thine enemy, King Tony Saunce Pité I do verily behote that it will be my geste to borrow thy caitiff reign". And so it befell that the Lord de Mandelson did occupy the Siege Perilous at the Table rectangular and anon did fewter his spear against the loth Sir David le Blank. "Gramercy, my lord" said Sir Gordon unto the Lord de Mandelson and he made his haversack to swell with bezants.

Or, in other words, Mandy's back! I believe it was Lesbos native and doyen of the Peripatetic School of philosophy Theophrastus (or was it Charlie Daze – I always mix those two up) who mentioned that the man who has his hair cut very frequently, who keeps his teeth white, changes his clothes while they are still good and uses scented ointment instead of oil is the definition of petty ambition. In Mandy they have brought back the archetype of petty ambition and shown that, no matter what you do, you are never too sleaze-ridden for New Labour. That an ex-communist should become the standard-bearer of Labour’s lurch to the right in itself gives the mettle of the man but that Tony’s best mucker and Gordon’s worst enemy would agree to take up a seat in the Brown cabinet is the worst indictment of this medicine show politician’s grubbiness. The Ayatollah Khomeini (or was it George Roper) once remarked that "I cannot admit that a man without moral standards may act for the people" and the return of Mandelson is the surest sign yet that El Gordo thinks no more of the people than he does of a pig's bumhole. Mandelson's career has been based on corruption, a total lack of values and a desire to get what he can for himself and this is the man Brown thinks will save him?! It almost makes you pine for the days of Ruth Kelly. Almost.
keresaspa: (Deryck Guyler as Corky)
Ah, dear Tony. He may be no longer with us in leadership but he is still with us in sleaze. We all remember his stunningly beautiful and supremely talented wife taking big money to bit of gas-bagging in Australia but now it seems the other half of the gruesome 'tooth'-some is doing the same in China, the communist country with millionaires (or capitalist dictatorship, if you will). Interesting to note that in the descriptions he is referred to as a statesman once but a celebrity twice. Pretty much sums up Tony's brand of leadership - douse yourself in make-up, smile for the cameras, spout clichéd drivel about 'hand of history' and stand near Noel Gallagher so as you look a bit less ugly. Personally, I think they're being kind comparing him to a domestic county or city-level official - a crap game show host in the Max Bygraves or Hughie Green vein would be more like it. Chairman Mao must be spinning in his grave!
keresaspa: (Karl Marx laughing)
So at long last it is goodbye to England's other rose Tony Blair as he finally does one after a farewell so drawn out that even Verdi would have thought it a bit much. Ever the drama queen it seems there is to be no period of quiet reflection on the backbenches but rather it seems he is to do an Anthony Eden and resign Sedgefield as well. Only right I suppose - could we really expect President Blair to soil his hands by only representing a bunch of grotty north-easterners after ten years as God's representative on earth? No, after bringing war to Afghanistan and Iraq it looks like he is to be placed in charge of bringing peace to the Middle East. A bit like asking Bernard Matthews to head up a task force eradicating bird flu, really. Still, in fairness, he certainly needs the money! I await the memoirs with bated breath as Tony tells us how he singlehandedly brought peace and justice to the whole, with a little help from dear George of course. “My Struggle” perhaps?

Since I first started this journal four years I have wasted countless words whaling on Tony and now that he's gone I almost feel duty bound to say something positive about him. I'll ignore Northern Ireland and the hand of history crap as I hardly think he deserves the credit he is claiming over it whilst other possibly good things such as the Human Rights Act and the Freedom of Information Act have proven to be not worth the paper they were written on as he has watered them down time and again. Therefore if it comes to summing up Blair's positive legacy I'll plump for Section 36 of the Crime and Disorder Act 1998. Yup, the only positive legacy I can find from ten years of Blairism is that I can now commit treason or piracy with violence without fear of execution. Way to go, Tone!



So Tony Blair then - he came, he saw, he buggered off. There'll never be another (with any luck).
keresaspa: (Communism)
Well, we knew Nicolas Sarkozy was going to be a bad egg now it seems he is demanding apologies from the Belgians for suggesting he was drunk. Amazing really that somebody that thin skinned would enter politics when being the target of constant criticism goes with the territory. Besides he certainly looks drunk (or possibly high) to me. No doubt he goes along with darling Tony and his recent attack on the media. What a pair of prats! Time you woke up to reality, gentlemen. As leaders you get to decide the destiny of millions of people, get lifted and laid, ferried about the world looking like a big shot and get more opportunity for free money and sex than anybody. If that means the odd mauling from the press then it's a fair trade-off for everything you lot get. Don't like it, then bugger off and get jobs in McDonalds. Bloody moaning minnies!
keresaspa: (Lucy Liu)
So, it's finally been announced that Blair is buggering off. Actually, it's hard to believe (and shows clearly the limitations of so-called democracy) that such a thoroughly unpleasant individual has managed to last so long. He talks about his legacy but it's difficult to see it being any more than a series of failures. Leaving aside the illegal wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, making Britain the lap dogs of one of the most hated American governments in history and following a foreign policy that has justified terrorism he has lurched from one balls-up to the next. The Millennium Dome, money pumped into the NHS only to be wasted on managers and trusts, student fees and the end of grants, running roughshod over people's rights in the name of 'the war on terror', the pointless waste of money that is the Olympics and ban after ban after ban coupled with providing less and less, meaning that the purpose of government now seems to be "we'll tell you what to do more often in return for less from us". On top of this he fostered a climate where incompetence, corruption and downright crapness are no bars to a place in the Cabinet, with sleazy bastards like Mandelson, Blunkett, Prescott and Jowell given chance upon chance when they should have been put out to pasture years ago. He cracks on to be a statesman but apart from his wars all I can remember him for is constantly baiting Iran, supporting Israel whilst they blew the shit out of Lebanon and snubbing Hugo Chavez on his visit to Britain because his master Bush doesn't like him. Instead of involving himself more closely with Europe in an attempt to get away from a world of one superpower he has perpetuated the uncertainty and violence of American hegemony by effectively placing himself at Bush's disposal, even to the extent where he has copied the little creep's walk and getting his initial in his forehead like the mark of the Beast. Devolution is trumpeted as his big thing, but until it starts delivering long term benefits then it is just something that has happened rather than an achievement. As for ‘the new Northern Ireland’, tell that to the immigrants who are getting 1950s levels of abuse, coupled with intimidation and violence. Let's not forget that he inflicted ten years of that horrid, money-grabbing wife of his on us. And he's a dud root who smells of onions.

OK, realistically, Gordon Brown is not going to be very different. He might talk the socialism talk from time to time but I don't anticipate any major changes in his government, other than a couple of new faces whom I'm sure I will soon learn to hate as much as Prescott and John Reid. Still, for the time being a date finally being placed on the fall of Anthony B. Liar is a cause for celebration.
keresaspa: (Salvador Allende)
Interesting to see on a day that the press is going gaga over 'our boys' being released from Iran that they are burying a report that suggests conditions at Guantanamo Bay are getting worse. 15 people get detained for a couple of weeks and it's the story of the century but leave 385 to rot for years and nothing is done to change it. You can say one thing for Tony Blair - he's consistent in being a two-faced prat.

Enough for now as I'm still clearing up a bit of work. All communiqués will cease for the next six days as this place is shut to Wednesday. Enjoy the Resurrection Day holiday and try not to miss me too much!
keresaspa: (Brigitte Bardot)
Ah, just the job. A marathon session has more or less put that current chapter to bed a day ahead of schedule. I still need to tidy up the references and make a few adjustments here and there but that shouldn't take more than an hour and it can wait until tomorrow anyroad. Enough is enough for one day, methinks.

Anyway, on to matters more important. Although I didn't watch it I could not let Channel 4's latest nod to bargain basement programming, 100 Greatest Sex Symbols, pass without comment. Ignoring the dubious wisdom of having chaps and chapesses in the same list some things stick out like sore thumbs. In terms of the women elected the whole thing reeked of dozy blokes with goldfish memories and warped ideas of womanhood. What can we say of a world that rates Sarah Michelle Gellar (16) and weird-looking Crazylegs Crane-alike Uma Thurman (15) as higher in the sex symbol stakes than Sophia Loren (24) and Brigitte Bardot (23). I mean, is anybody likely to care about those two 40-50 years after their peak the way they do (and should) about Brigitte and Sophia? And should the likes of the admitedly reasonably attractive (though not top 10 of all time) Beyoncé Knowles and the boot ugly Kylie Minogue be in the top ten when there is no place in the whole top 100 for the likes of Edwige Fenech, Ursula Andress or Gina Lollobrigida? Angelina Jolie at number 1 reeks of the last week memory syndrome more than anything else. I must say don't really get what the fuss about her is anyway but leaving aside personal taste for a moment can she really be seen as defining the whole notion of sex symbol more than Marilyn Monroe with whom the whole notion was invented? The less said about the mouth breathers who voted for Jessica Rabbit and Lara Croft the better. Repeat after me - they are not real, they are only made up and getting aroused by cartoons and computer games is for 11 year olds. Stuff and nonsense all round. And, despite showing some concept of history by placing the likes of Marlon Brando high the other side don't get off scot-free. Tony Blair at number 65? Sickos!

OK then buoys and gulls that's my rant over for today. Hunger is now consuming me so I must away. See you round like a rissole

Namasté

Feb. 2nd, 2007 02:57 pm
keresaspa: (Shakuni (Gufi Paintal))
So I'm going through the cable the other night on the off-chance that anything new has been gifted to us by the 'good' people of NTL. After much stumbling (which included the odd discovery that we now receive free God Channel) I came across what is sure to be my favourite network until such times as they take it away from me again, MAX. Wall to wall bonkers Bollywood films from the late 70s, mostly mad plots and all without subtitles to add to the chaos. Already we've been treated to a quick glimpse of the legend that is Gufi Paintal and a had to be seen to be believed bit in which Amitabh Bachchan beat seven bells out of at least 10 sages (including a midget) through a mix of hammy kung-fu and magic tricks. Plus those Indian women are one hell of a holiday for the eyes. Far and away the best channel to hit NTL ever.

Beats the hell out of the news anyway where the big story seems to be that Blair won't quit. Ho-hum. Not that it would make much difference if he did mind you. I really can't see Gordon Brown, or indeed Cameron or even Ming the Merciless (not that that will ever happen), making any real change if they came to power other than a bit of minor tinkering with the same rotting system. Kill the lot of them! If I knew kung-fu and the Indian rope trick I would be doing it as we speak.

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