keresaspa: (Percy Sugden)
There's a song where some bloke with a fake accent sings "hold me tight and whisper love is forever" playing everywhere, all the young ladies are wearing bits of plastic in their hair for some reason and my breath permanently smells of diluted Harp and Dorchester Superkings. Not literally but it might as well be the case as I'm forced to fall back on a survey, just like in the old days (assuming it doesn't contravene the terms of the new Russian language-only agreement that I was just forced to sign on here). So anyway:

· What kind of a mood are you in right now? Meh.
· What's been on your mind lately? Non-payment of debts by a certain airline and non-delivery of Bandcamp orders.
· What has been the best part of the past week? The second goal in the match I just got back from. Best I've seen live all season. Some youngster named Pearse who ran along the edge of the box and then stroked the ball into the top corner for my local club Rosario against Grove United in an NAFL 1B match.
· What has been the worst part of the past week? Phoning the flybe call centre this morning. God but I hate the phone.
· Where are you? In my flippity floppity floop.
· What did you last eat? A rather unpleasant cottage pie.
· What did you last drink? Chocolate Moo.
· How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Three at best. I just don't sleep any more.
· What are you wearing? Green jumper, blue pyjama bottoms with a grey stripe, fawn socks and brown sandals. Every bit as stylish and dashing as it sounds.
· What did you do yesterday? All sorts of pointless nonsense.
· What are your plans for tomorrow? Respiration and that.
· Have you learned anything new lately? Theoretically, how to replace a broken handle on a window but I won't know if I've genuinely learned it until the new one arrives and I undertake the changeover.
· Who was your last text from? Hotmail, who have suddenly become security conscious to wanky levels.
· What was the last website you visited besides this one? RateYourMusic.com
· Who did you last compliment? What did you say? Can't remember. There was a homosexual barista rather taken with my moustache a while ago so maybe that. (Read that wrong didn't I - who did I last compliment. No idea, never do, haven't the confidence.)
· When was the last time you exercised? I threw the weights around the other night, to little purpose.
· Are you listening to any music right now? No, TV's on in the background.
· What's the last thing you Googled? "Newington Dundela abandoned". A match was abandoned recently after some nutjob slapped the ref and I was looking to see what will happen as a consequence as it might impact on my mob.
· Is there anyone in the room with you? No.

Nerd

Feb. 4th, 2016 08:35 pm
keresaspa: (Nina looking a tad pertubed)
It may not be obvious given how rubbish this journal is but I've long been a devotee of the intricacies of the English language. I'm not sure when this started given that I have a rather poor memory when it comes to details of my own life but certainly one of the things that at least helped to bolster my love of words was getting a copy of The Insomniac's Dictionary by Paul Hellweg when I was around fourteen (about three years before I became a chronic insomniac in fact). For those unfamiliar with the book it contains eighteen chapters of unusual words arranged according to theme (chapter seventeen being the place I first came across my old favourite "zaftig", for instance) with the last given over to word games. It's the last to which I wish to address myself today.

Hellweg introduces the concept of univocalics, a name he gives to poems in which only a single vowel is permitted. Taking as his example "Mary Had a Little Lamb", Hellweg offers up a univocalic using only the letter "e" thus:

Meg kept the wee sheep
The sheep's fleece resembled sleet,
Then wherever Meg went
The sheep went there next;
He went where she heeded her texts,
The precedent he neglected;
The pre-teens felt deep cheer
When the sheep entered there.


Outstanding stuff, I'm sure you'll agree. Hellweg then issues the challenge to the reader to replicate his effort using the other vowels. Well, after over two decades of trying (albeit with a bunch of other stuff happening too - I've not been slavishly trying this night after night) I have finally risen to the challenge and present my own effort using only a:

Martha had a small lamb
That had a jack as a pall
And all walks that Martha had
That small lamb had and all
That lamb was at a class all day
Alas a bash at a law
Small madams and lads all lark and play
As that lamb at class all saw


I should point out that Hellweg himself supplied the first line and, as an American, is of the peculiar belief that y is a vowel too, hence Mary becoming Martha. Equally I should point out that "and all" is a common dialect expression in Scotland, northern England and parts of Northern Ireland meaning "also" or "as well". A few unusual turns of phrase and a tense shift are the inevitable price to pay for such an unusual restriction. Still, I'm rather pleased with that, specifically as my version managed to retain the rhyme.

Well, as I said once before, who says a bucket list has to be glamorous after all? Now all that remains is for somebody daft enough to attempt to do it with i, o and u. No takers for y?
keresaspa: (Seagull)
One of the many many things that bothers me about the internet and its users is the casual illiteracy that so dominates it. All that "should/would/could/might of" crap, cretins writing "alot" when they mean two words, the non-word "prolly", mixing up "your" and "you're" (to be honest, I'm more comfortable with people just using "ur" in that case rather than ballsing it up) and so forth. I do my best to live and let live and absolutely detest snobbery but there are few things more likely to make me judge somebody harshly than all that rubbish.

And yet. And yet indeed, as twice in the last couple of weeks I've noticed myself messing up when it comes to "their", "there" and "they're". Quite why I don't know as I know the differences like the back of my hand and have been using them properly for thirty odd years and yet on two separate occasions in a short space of time I've goofed them up. My insomnia has been rampant recently so I'm going to use that as a convenient excuse but really I stand shamefaced at the thought of it. Could it be that a side-effect of the internet is that turns you into the very thing you despise? Or equally could it be that all those morons I've been gnashing my teeth over for years are just having insomnia-inspired accidents? Either way I don't like it one little bit.

Rufus

May. 14th, 2013 09:30 pm
keresaspa: (Lolita No. 18)
Sun, wind and horrendously fair skin caused by being Irish infused with tainted Viking blood make a less than heady combination. The weather has been practically diluvian recently but in between the sort of hailstone deluge that leaves your trousers about a stone heavier we are being blessed (?) with interludes of baking sunshine. Sitting directly in its gaze on Friday night as I watched DC limply surrender their top flight status I managed to get a sunburnt eyelid and today in the baking heat of Bangor I have completed the set with face and bald pate now shiny red. The black clouds and lashing rain fooled me into thinking that sun block would only be good for giving myself long white streaks as it ran down my face mixed with rain water but instead I am facing my second sunburn of the year already. Were I a worrier that little hard pimple that has risen up on my forehead would be giving me sleepless nights but fortunately the usual combination of insomnia and bloody unreasonable arseholes on ebay have taken care of that already.

Sod it, let's have a change of pace.

Question: Is what follows the single greatest thing in the history of the universe and everything?



Answer: Yes.

Oof

Apr. 11th, 2012 07:15 pm
keresaspa: (Diggory)
I knew it was coming of course. Whenever I find myself extracting moustache hair from my mouth it is always a sign that it is coming, especially when the beast was just recently trimmed. So it's no surprise that I am sitting here feeling like a washed-out dishrag. Quite what is wrong with me I'm not sure but I'm running a temperature, I feel like throwing up, my knees are trembling, my head is reeling, my insomnia is rampant (to the point where I got around half an hour's sleep last night all in) and I'm freezing cold and yet dripping with sweat. I rather thought that I had gotten away with murder this winter in terms of flus and bugs so obviously my lousy immune system was just holding off to the spring before hitting me with the big one. To bed would be the sensible recourse but, as is often the case with me, the jitters has me as well, meaning that I would be thrashing about too much for it to do any good. Looks like I'll have to tough this one out on the sofa. Bloody spring lurgy.

Still I suppose I should look on the bright side really shouldn't I? At least Albion have a chance to finally confirm their survival tonight with a nice easy game against struggling Manchester City. Given that they've taken two points from their last three games and in the process meekly handed the title over to their cross-town neighbours (was there ever really any doubt that United would win, even when City were a trillion points clear or whatever it was) they should be easier to beat than a suspect in shackles. So fingers crossed for a nice 2-1 win or if, as is often the case, the hallucinations arrive, a nice 1,368-259 win. 5-0 to City is it then.
keresaspa: (Terry-Thomas)
Hello again. I arrived back from London yesterday and now the inevitable load of waffle about what I dided must follow. So sit back and enjoy or run along and play, whichever you prefer.

Cut for length )
keresaspa: (Piggy Banks)
Be afraid, be very afraid! Those pesky Mexicans.

We Don't Need No Steenking Swine Flu


Not only an epidemic, not only a pandemic but a pandemic that can be blamed on Mexico. It's almost as if as Fox News invented this whole swine flu business just to have something else to throw at the Chicanos. Personally I won't be losing any sleep over it - well, no more than is normal for an insomniac like me. Having already lived through all the hype over anthrax, ebola, bird flu and SARS (which is at Duncan Norvelle levels of being washed up) I suspect this one will also kill a handful of people I don't know before disappearing into today's fish supper wrappers. But just in case be alert and remember:



Stay cool, won't you.

Bee-gone!

Jul. 16th, 2008 02:12 pm
keresaspa: (Helen Willetts)
Well, the bees that plagued me a few weeks ago, only to be expelled by noxious substances, have made a return of sorts. I'll not bore you all with the details but the nest still seems to be inactive but they have been crowding around a tree at the back of my place and appear to be getting in from time to time in holes behind the guttering, despite me having thought that all the holes had been sealed up. A guy I know came round yesterday and he and myself removed a lot of the branches from the tree which hopefully will put them off but sleep has been a complete stranger over the holidays and I got very little last night as I was on tenterhooks waiting for the noises to come back. Is it any wonder I hate summer?! Just a quick one today folks as I need to make up some work missed because of those bloody idiots marching up and down roads, although God knows how that will turn out given my zombified state. Serenity now!
keresaspa: (Alice)
There seems to be something of an outbreak of sleep deprivation around these parts today as a few of you on my friends list are complaining about it. For some of us, of course, sleep deprivation is a constant factor as we battle hard to grab a couple of hours between the endless aeons of tossing and turning. Ordinarily it is something that I am very much used to and I soldier on without sleep, unconcerned by any nagging feelings of tiredness. Every so often however it hits me hard and I find myself feeling very lethargic and heavy eyed. Today is just one of those days. It would be flaming Monday of course! No work looks the order of the day and a good sleep would, were there any justice, be the order of the night, but I do rather get the feeling that a six in the morning gaze at the watch will be in order tonight. Bloody summer!

Well, enough misery for one day. I must stagger outside in a zombified state for a cig. Bye.
keresaspa: (Seagull)
Apparently the latest big deal is seagulls in cities. Or is that just conclusive proof that the silly season is upon us? We hear from time to time about seagulls making nuisances of themselves but for me they are good bunch of lads who have just been given a bad reputation. Compared to the feathered rats that are pigeons we hardly see any seagulls and all they really do is eat the odd bit of food, crap from time to time and make that nice squawking sound of theirs. Hands off the seagulls!

Besides there are much worse pests around than seagulls, notably the bees who have been troubling me in recent weeks. I haven't mentioned that particular problem in a while because I didn't want to jinx it but the problem appears to have been fixed. The offending bees were removed last Thursday (I'm not saying how as this is a bit of a legal grey area) and a mate came round and filled in the holes in my garage house (which were actually in a much greater quantity than I had first thought) with that stuff you spray that expands and hardens to fill in gaps. I briefly heard them again the next day but for the last four nights or so not a peep has been heard. Which is nice. I get little enough sleep as it is due to my rampant insomnia, the last thing I needed was little buzzers robbing me of what little I get.

Anyway that's today's lot. Hurry up semi-finals!
keresaspa: (Two Ronnies)
These Freeview boxes - can anybody tell me for definite that you can get them to work without planking a bloody great aerial on the side of your drum? I've heard rumours that it's possible but would rather hear a cast-iron answer from somebody who knows for sure. I ask only because the state of late night TV on terrestrial has become unbearably bad, which is a boot in the nads to an insomniac like myself. Constant quiz shows and the dreaded spectre of the approaching menace that is Big Brother, with its constant streams of people sleeping require desperate action. The choice is so bad that I now find myself a regular viewer of z-list boxing matches and World Business Report (although admittedly the vivacious Dharshini David makes that much more tolerable than it should be to a red like myself). As such, any pointers in the right direction would be a mighty useful help as I would prefer not to get lumbered with a bit of kit that I can't use.

A tired man

Jun. 9th, 2006 12:30 pm
keresaspa: (Boycie)
As I'm sure some of you are aware I'm a poor sleeper at the best of times. Summer, however, is the worst of times. The blinding daylight that puts in an appearance around 6 AM every morning is far stronger than any alarm clock, whilst the dawn chorus starting at about 3 is even worse. Upshot is, I haven't slept for around a week now. Can the hallucinations be far behind? I certainly hope so. Added to this is the fact that I was roped in to buzzsawing the front hedge yesterday, meaning that I feel like a wreck. Aiiee!

But enough about me. In case you've been living in a cave on Mars for the past few months I would just like to remind you that the World Cup finally kicks off today. About bloody time! All the months of xenophobic build-up have left me very weary and I'll be glad to get the thing going. I have also heard that they'll be foregoing the tedious opening ceremony which is even better news. Paraguay for me as usual. I don't really care who wins the opening match, although I'll back Ecuador to beat the Poles as my loyalties invariably lie with the Latin sides.

Anyway, that'll do it for today. ¡Viva La Albirroja!
keresaspa: (George Formby)
Dead to the world, my dear friends. Something about last night meant I just couldn't get to sleep no matter what. Grabbed the odd ten minutes here and there but it aint enough. As usual for me in cases like this I am now a bundle of energy and have to move. Swung round to the honcho and got him on the first try (two moons in the sky). Everything's going OK on that score and I've managed to chouse another fortnight before any real work starts so there's no sweat. Think I'll run into town and waste some money to shed a bit of this adrenaline. It's a funny old life, folks.

I'm still to decide where I stand on this Ken Livingstone row. Journalists are tossers but Nazi jokes to Jews are out of order. Seems Boris Johnson is backing him now. Strange bedfellows and all that. What a revolting image!

Anyway enough hoo-ha for one day. Exhaustion fuelled impulse buying awaits. Fare thee well.
keresaspa: (Zappa)
i LoVe HaRrY pOtTeR aNd AnImE aNd SeLf HaRm AnD iD kIk Yo AsS lOl

No don't worry, comrades, your Ayatollah hasn't gone over to the dark side. After trying that random function a few times I was greeted by so much like the above that it's hard not to launch into satirical mode. God, I'm witty aren't I? Oh.

Still looking at other's inane ramblings is a welcome diversion from all the essay writing I've been doing recently. Mind you I'm nearing the home stretch now and the stuff I'm reading is finally beginning to make some sense to me. I sometimes reckon I should just pull a Dessie and mooch a couple of months out of a broken arm. For those unaware (which will be everyone except [livejournal.com profile] vulcanlolita I suppose) Dessie is a crazy guy in my street who likes to talk incessantly, even if it's to himself. He managed to break his arm what seems like well over a month ago yet he is still running around in a sling. If you asks me he sees the opportunity for DLA and is milking it for all it is worth. Fair play to the old headcase, I say. That made sense, did that paragraph. Not difficult to tell that I had another sleepless night. Ah, insomnia you are wrong, but you feel so right.

Meanwhile my very favourite politician ever George W. Bush has announced a plan to return to the moon. Good old US of A! They'll waste billions on what is essentially a pointless exercise but will leave their poor to rot in Third World standard slums. Mind you Britain is hardly much better with all the money it wasted on the war being recouped by health cuts and top-up fees. Capitalism you have a lot to answer for.

Well I've had my run. See you all later as I have library stuff to do (the fun never ends with good old Keresaspa)

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